Why You Don’t Need To Lose A Single Pound To Start Feeling HOT

Ever feel like you would be more attractive if you lost a few pounds? It’s like no matter what you do, you just don’t feel like you are enough to go after the date, the job, or to the bar with your friends?

Good news: You don’t have to lose a single pound to start feeling beautiful – I have to tell you this story because I think it will help you to feel more radiant TODAY.

It was about 4 months into my work with my one-on-one coach, when I realized that my size didn’t determine my beauty. I used to believe that I was only attractive when I was under a size 10 – double digits automatically meant unwanted, unlovable. Whenever the scale started to go up – I always became frustrated, anxious and depressed.

Ever feel that way?

When I finally decided to give up on dieting (more on that another time), my weight rose and those feelings came flooding back. But with the support of a coach, I spent three full months diving into my stories about my weight and my self worth, re-discovering my passions, and striving to live each day at my highest level of vibration.

And then one day everything fell into place, I looked around and I was happy, alive, and in love with my life. And that day, I had no less than 5 people tell me how beautiful, radiant, and happy I looked – and you see absolutely NOTHING had changed about my physical appearance. I was just me – living my life as my best self.

As the compliments flooded in I realized it was the feelings of happiness, aliveness and love that people associate with beauty, not the anxiety, depression and frustration that came from the number on the scale.

I write this to you today to remind you of how powerful you are when you commit to you – and to passionately and steadfastly pursuing the most alive version of yourself. That is where your true beauty shines, not the number on the scale or the size of your jeans.

How can you let your inner beauty shine today?

Where can you find the inner beauty in others?

How can you open yourself up for all that you have desired?

Some of my favorite role models who radiate the kind of beauty we are all striving for – one that is size irrelevant – are here, here, and here. Let me know who inspires you!

By |July 6th, 2016|

The stories we tell

How did I become a body-love coach?

It all started one fateful day in 1996.

I’d stayed home sick from school for the day when all of a sudden I heard a knock at the door. I opened it and to my surprise found myself face-to-face with the boy I had a *huge* crush on. I soon found out that he was sent there by my “best friend” to tell me that he liked her and not me.

“Don’t be mad at her,” he told me. “I never would have dated you anyway.”

As anyone who’s been through high school can imagine, I almost died of embarrassment, like literally wanted to melt into a puddle. I have no memory of how I reacted in the moments and days later. What I do remember is the meaning I attached to the experience, and carried along as baggage through every adventure I took for the next 20 years.

That story said I was broken, unlovable, ugly and fat. And mostly the fat one. And too fat to ever get a boyfriend. Interestingly, this guy didn’t say any of these things to me…I made that all up myself! (Btw – who is that bitch and why was she living in my head?!)

Fast forward 20 years and I am now a life coach focused on helping women learn to love and embrace their bodies.

Why the sudden enlightenment?

blame Brene Brown’s famous TED talk on shame. I listened to that talk, and was mesmerized (like the other 5 million viewers and counting). But I walked away thinking – “Nah, I don’t have a shame story.”  Well, The Universe had other plans for me, because within hours that fateful day in 1996 came rushing back. “You think you don’t have shame? Remember that horrible day when you hadn’t showered and the cute boy showed up to tell you he didn’t like you?”

The memory (and the shame I felt) came quickly flooding back. 

I cried the first time I told that story out loud. But I kept telling the story – I mean not like a crazy person, just to some trusted friends. And each time my throat would tighten, my eyes would tear up, but slowly, bit by bit, I began to feel lighter.

I saw Cheryl Strayed at a book talk recently and she said, “You just have to decide what to do with the ugliest thing you received in your life.” Sometimes the things we receive are heavier than others, some are done to us, and some are just plain made up in our own heads. My story may seem small, but I made it oh-so big. It came with me on every date, to every new job, and every new relationship. Once I was able to let that story out, I decided to let that story be that, just a story, not a truth. And you know what? I’ve never felt more free.
Do I wish I knew I could decide differently back then on that fateful day on my front porch? Sure. But hey there’s a time for everything I guess.  So I want to know, what are you going to decide about your ugliest story? I invite you to share in the comments below, even, and especially if, it feels a little vulnerable or uncomfortable. Take it from me, shame begins to loses its pull when we let in the light <3



By |December 5th, 2015|